Home Sweet Home

Man! Just realized I have abandoned this blog for quite some time. Okay, that's a lie. I didn't JUST realize, I have felt something is missing inside me for so long. I miss my soul, haven't visited her for some time...too preoccupied with so many dunya things. Been drifted like a dead wood for so long. Need to reset.

We have made it....home, that is. Myself and hubby are now settled in our new jobs (at the same company - for better & worse). Kids are attending new schools and loving it. All in all, Alhamdulillah...I have yet to feel any regret leaving Singapore. My last entry, i recorded my anxiety, not sure if the decision was right. Though I have yet to find the conviction to say "yes this is the RIGHT decision", at least I know it's NOT the wrong decision.

Before I came home, my mind was filled with lots of paranoia thoughts, thanks to the massive media coverage, friends' experiences, rumors and my own assumptions. Below I listed some of the major ones...

a) Expectation 1: "I'd be living in great paranoia, given high crime rate in KL"
Sure, Malaysia can't put 'low crime rate' as our Visit Malaysia Year winning point, but I think if you apply some street wise common sense (i.e dont' flash ur jewelleries, don't lenggang2 with your LV, Gucci, (original or otherwise) loosely in your hand next to an 0pen street filled with bikers), and went out of your home with a proper doa...then insyaAllah, you won't contribute to the statistic. It helps that we managed to find a place in a gated community, minimize our outings to absolute minimums and we don't buy newspapers (that's where the spotlight on crimes are, hence you tend to focus on them..hence invite them).

b) Expectation 2: "The bad traffic jam....will kill me softly"
Even though our place isn't exactly in the same postcode area as our workplace, we spent about 30 to 40 min to work and 20 min from work. Yeah, we encountered some sluggishness along the way, but I used to the time to chat with hubby or sing out loud (since reading in car makes me nauseous) to politely ignore his grumble of the rude drivers cutting in and out traffic. Of course we have NEVER been to the KL City center itself...purposely avoiding that area since we know it'll rob our sanity away. Since we can get ALL the stuffs we NEED including my tudung ekin & tudung Siti) in nearby area, why invite the stress?


b) Expectation 2: "Amirul & Alyssa will hate his school and have a bad time adjusting back to Msia educaton System"
Alhamdulillah we managed to find a private school which serves our needs within the vicinity. He rates his school 8/10 (slightly over-rated IMHO). But hey, as long as he is happy, then I am happy. Alyssa is attending a preschool, two doors away from home. She rates her school 5/10..barely passing. But since she only spend mornings there, I think she can last til end of the year. She started to converse in Malay now...I am so thrilled. Though she still has her witty comebacks every now and then (yesterday when I asked her to eat her chicken, she says "chicken is SO YESTERDAY, mummy" in her Hanna Montana accent). I do want her to master Malay first, then English...but I don't want to loose her quirky comebacks which are the highlights of my day.

c) Expectation 3: "I'd be suffocated living in close proximity with my family and in-laws"
I stand corrected...not that bad at all (maybe it's because we don't see each other that often...only once a months!). And there's a big plus....now that we don't spend our long w'ends 'balik kampung' since we meet often ('often' according to my definition), then I can plan our vacation! man..if only you knew the places we plan on going!

d) Expectation 4: "I will not be able to fit into the new work culture - government mentality"
No comment. I'd have to write a WHOLE other entry for that piece alone. All I can say is, I've added jumping up and down vigorously as a routine to end my day. why? 2 reasons: 1) To release this build up emotion I have collected since morning 2) To shake it off in case stupidity and mediocrity are contagious.

THE VERDICT : Okaylah...Not So bad lah. Malaysia Boleh!

Goodbye, Motorola!

Today marks my last day as a Motorolan. After spending nearly 6 years with Motorola, it's not easy to bid farewell. Especially to those who have touched and influenced my life in so many different ways.

But life goes on. And the only thing constant about life, is change. How ironic. And everytime the wind of chain goes our way, we must be able to shift our sails accordingly, else we will drift away. Up until today, I still believe I live an intentional life (with Allah's will of course), instead of just drifting on the sea of life like a dead wood.

Above is my farewell note I sent to my Motorolan friends today. Most replied with kind words and well wishes. Some expressed their envy of my courage. Courage to change my life, my destiny. To this I sent the below reply:

Change is not easy. And it complicates matters more, when more lives (not just yours) are involved. In my case, my decision will impact my husband's career & life, my children's education & life. To a certain extend, my parents' & brothers' too. Too many lives involved, too many risks to take, too many possibilities of failure. When I get scared in making such important decision with so much at stake, I usually remind myself that I am responsible not only for what I do, but also for what I do not do. That doesn't help to diminish the fear, but it instills the courage to do something despite the fear.

Despite my brave front, I am very anxious about this decision of leaving Motorola and Singapore. Am I doing the right thing for myself? my family? my husband? Will they be happy? Will I be happy? Only Allah knows best. For now, I will do my very best to make it and be responsible of this choice that I have made. So Allah help me!

A must watch

A Role Model For Amirul: Syakh Hamza Yusuf

I can't pin point the exact day when I first learned about Syakh Hamza Yusuf. It was not that far back, but all I can remember was that I came across this blessed soul's videos on youtube when I was down with some tribulations with our new life in Singapore. Since that day, I am hooked on his lectures...never lasted a week without listening to his advice.

Amirul, I pray to Allah for you to be lost, lonely & scared by the time you reach 17, the way Syakh Hamza Yusuf did. The sun rises right after the darkest hour of the nite. During his darkest hour, Hamza Yusuf was driven to seek the truth which has led him to the Qur'an. And how grateful we should all be that he didn't just stop there. He seeked more knowledge (and I believe still IS seeking) and spread them to us. Wise, logical, in-the-face facts delivered without an air of arrogance.

Look at how confident, well-read yet gracious this learned man was, sparring against this Hard Talk host whose intention was obvious (to condemn Islam). Syakh Hamza uses different style addressing different audience. He is linient, open, with the non-believers and fierce, straight to the point to us muslims. Which is probably what we, the muslims need.

more on this gem to the world : http://etharelkatatney.blogspot.com/2007/10/hamza-yusuf-tough-medicine.html

A Role Model for my Alyssa

Dear Alyssa...
Age must be really catching up...
for everytime I see a teenage girl who has great potential in whatever it is she's doing, instead of reminiscing of my old time, I start wishing for you to turn out like them. It could be because it's starting to hurt my head trying to jog back memories that FAR back.... or it could be because I feel the need to leave a legacy... or it scares the hell out of me if you (God forbid) would end up like so many Malay girls out there not living up to their true worth & value, wasting their life away trying to catch some hormone-driven boy's attention.

Thanks to your uncle Tam, I am now totally hooked on YUNA... an extremely talented young Malay lass. It's quite easy to see why I am so easily listed as member of her bulgeoning ball of fans, ... unique melodious voice + truly awesome song/lyrics + humbe attitude which keep her focus on her music and not the glamour and pretentious world of self-proclaimed artists (remind me of the talentless bunch of AF "grads").

A Law student, fantastic voice, creative song writing, sweet, down to earth presence.... what a stark contrast to the other "tergedi-gedik" artists out there...
Wish you and I can catch her perform live one day.

So Long 2008, Welcome 2009!

A confession to start a brand new year: I've never been a great fan for new year's eve party. Frankly, I couldn't agree more with what what said by Mark Twain that "New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions." Eventhough it's harmless...if it still serves the rests of the purposes listed above, then I'd rather stay home and contemplate of what I've done with my life in the previous years.... sounds very boring and kinda geeky, huh?

This year, I ushered in 2009 with a difference. Hubby, myself & our two luv'em-till-death-but-at-times-we-need-a-break-from-them-too kids, decided to have a bicycle ride to Punggol Park (next to our apartment in Hougang). We started at around 11:00pm from home. On our way out, the security guards informed us there'll be a firework at the nearby temple in Punggol. We were surprised to see there were many children playing at the playground in the park, when it was inching midnite. We let the kids play for a while, then found a spot by the pond hoping to catch a glimpse of the fireworks. Hitching the countdown from the crowd at a nearby Beer Garden by the pond (Bliss), we snapped a "the last photo of the kids in 2008" and right after "the 1st photo of the kids in 2009". But we we rather dissapointed, the photos were too dark (stupid handphone camera) AND we couldn't really see the fireworks...only some glimpse of the lighting on the dark skies...no thanks to all the tall HDB Flats. We could've had a much better view from our apartment of the 8th story. But no regrets...since we had such great family time cycling from 2008 into 2009!

My new year's resolution? Same as previous years... to be a better me!

Steve Job: Connecting the dots

I received a call this morning. I got a job offer for a job I have never applied for. Great news? Not exactly. Not when I am in the midst of preparing myself for another job.


I feel like I am again at that spot about slightly over a year ago, when I received the job offer for this role I am currently in. Again, I am at this junction needing to decide whether to turn right or turn left. On my right, I am very familiar with the folks, their strength, their weakness and their idiosyncrsies. The same, they can say about me. Though the task is not exactly rocket science, it provides enough challange since I am new to it, and it excites me since it aligns with my passion.

On my left, is a territory I have yet ventured into. I don't know the people, except for the one or two who called me this morning. The job sounds very intimidating. It would be very easy for me to say no, but a little voice inside of me says "wait, let's consider it". Her argument: there MUST be a reason why this opportunity knocks on your door now.

I need to talk this out with someone...but having trouble to find who that someone is. Most of my close friends have enough problems on their own, and I feel guilty consuming their time talking about how confused I am. And yes, I am also too vain to ignore if they perceive me as 'showing off' having receive these offers when people are starving for jobs in the current economy state.

I searched the net for some articles, quotes, anything that might help me to decide. For some reason I stumbled upon this speech by Steve Jobs at Stanford Graduation on June 12th, 2005: